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I know i haven’t been made any posts this week. I have been stuck working in Toronto, Canadia. No thats not a typo. So vent time first. Not meant to attack anyone in particular, unfortunately, cuz attacking particular people is way too much fun.

I had one of those light bumb over your head moments as i was stuck in a huge line at the Pearson International Airport. Canadians are just a bunch of slackers. Believe me i have been coming here for about 3 years and i have worked for multiple huge corporations. Everywhere i went i saw the same reoccurring theme. Canadians hate to work. I cant speak for French part of Canadia or even west coast or even anywhere but Toronto area. However, Canadians that live in Toronto are freaking bums when it comes to doing work. No wonder out of all the airport i have visited over my professional career i hate Pearson International Airport the most. The dreadful YYZ. People that work at this airport are bums. I think the only reason Canadia is somewhat afloat is because they have copied pretty much everything from USA. Such as our homework and such.

The only good thing that came out of this trip to Toronto, besides the strip club i visited, is that i learned a new joke which i will share with you here.

A guy married girl named Wendy. He loved her so much he decided to get a tattoo of her name on his penis. On his trip to Jamaica while peeing in a public restroom he got a major shrinkage so the only visible letters on his penis were “Wy”. The guy glanced at the Jamaican guy peeing right next to him and noticed that his penis had a major shrinkage as well had tattoo that said “Wy” also. The guy exclaimed, “Oh wow are you married to a girl named Wendy as well?” Jamaican  guy answered, “No mine says: Welcome To Jamaica! Have a good day!”

Ok, so if Canadians are such slackers when it comes to working how the hell were the Habs able to beat Capitals? There is a theory called, Slam Dunk theory. Imagine yourself at a restaurant and the cute waitress girl (or boy whatever floats your boat) is giving you terrible service. She constantly ignores you, gets your order wrong and then when its time to pay the check she comes over and starts talking to you. She gets into a conversation with you trying to convey genuine interest. What is she trying to do? Slam Dunk right before you have to pay to maximize her tips. Could it be that Habs were slacking the whole season, somehow made the playoffs and then once in the playoffs just Slam Dunked on Capitals. Its possible, however instead of focusing on how i will focus on what. What can we learn from Habs vs Caps series?

1. Regular season stats don’t mean crap in the playoffs.
2. Playing awesome D > having awesome O in the playoffs.
3. Goaltenders on the roll can win series … even if you are down 3-1.
4. Everyone needs to block shots.
5. Ovie is overrated and not a clutch player in the playoffs.
6. I miss Hal Gill.

So now that we covered that how do Pens stop Habs that are on the roll right now? Simple, you introduce the Sidney Crosby factor to the equation.

You get Dan Bylsma some burritos.

You get Geno’s parents into the arena.

You let Maxime Talby do his magic on ice.

You let Billy G do his magic in the locker room.

You let Flower rub on as many goal posts and crossbars as he wants.

You let Brooks Orpik give out as much free candy as you can and keep Jordan Staal on ice during PK.

You keep that playoff beard growing and just keep believing.

I am going to make a bold statement based on absolutely nothing and say that there is one more thing you need and its a broom because the Pens are sweeping Habs.

First game tonight at 7:00pm. My plane lands at 6:00pm. I am grabbing a cab and heading straight to Foleys. Thats how you define dedication.

LETS GO PENS!