Archive for April, 2010

Sidney Crosby Factor

Friday, April 30th, 2010
Number of View: 698

I know i haven’t been made any posts this week. I have been stuck working in Toronto, Canadia. No thats not a typo. So vent time first. Not meant to attack anyone in particular, unfortunately, cuz attacking particular people is way too much fun.

I had one of those light bumb over your head moments as i was stuck in a huge line at the Pearson International Airport. Canadians are just a bunch of slackers. Believe me i have been coming here for about 3 years and i have worked for multiple huge corporations. Everywhere i went i saw the same reoccurring theme. Canadians hate to work. I cant speak for French part of Canadia or even west coast or even anywhere but Toronto area. However, Canadians that live in Toronto are freaking bums when it comes to doing work. No wonder out of all the airport i have visited over my professional career i hate Pearson International Airport the most. The dreadful YYZ. People that work at this airport are bums. I think the only reason Canadia is somewhat afloat is because they have copied pretty much everything from USA. Such as our homework and such.

The only good thing that came out of this trip to Toronto, besides the strip club i visited, is that i learned a new joke which i will share with you here.

A guy married girl named Wendy. He loved her so much he decided to get a tattoo of her name on his penis. On his trip to Jamaica while peeing in a public restroom he got a major shrinkage so the only visible letters on his penis were “Wy”. The guy glanced at the Jamaican guy peeing right next to him and noticed that his penis had a major shrinkage as well had tattoo that said “Wy” also. The guy exclaimed, “Oh wow are you married to a girl named Wendy as well?” Jamaican  guy answered, “No mine says: Welcome To Jamaica! Have a good day!”

Ok, so if Canadians are such slackers when it comes to working how the hell were the Habs able to beat Capitals? There is a theory called, Slam Dunk theory. Imagine yourself at a restaurant and the cute waitress girl (or boy whatever floats your boat) is giving you terrible service. She constantly ignores you, gets your order wrong and then when its time to pay the check she comes over and starts talking to you. She gets into a conversation with you trying to convey genuine interest. What is she trying to do? Slam Dunk right before you have to pay to maximize her tips. Could it be that Habs were slacking the whole season, somehow made the playoffs and then once in the playoffs just Slam Dunked on Capitals. Its possible, however instead of focusing on how i will focus on what. What can we learn from Habs vs Caps series?

  1. Regular season stats don’t mean crap in the playoffs.
  2. Playing awesome D > having awesome O in the playoffs.
  3. Goaltenders on the roll can win series … even if you are down 3-1.
  4. Everyone needs to block shots.
  5. Ovie is overrated and not a clutch player in the playoffs.
  6. I miss Hal Gill.

So now that we covered that how do Pens stop Habs that are on the roll right now? Simple, you introduce the Sidney Crosby factor to the equation.

You get Dan Bylsma some burritos.

You get Geno’s parents into the arena.

You let Maxime Talby do his magic on ice.

You let Billy G do his magic in the locker room.

You let Flower rub on as many goal posts and crossbars as he wants.

You let Brooks Orpik give out as much free candy as you can and keep Jordan Staal on ice during PK.

You keep that playoff beard growing and just keep believing.

I am going to make a bold statement based on absolutely nothing and say that there is one more thing you need and its a broom because the Pens are sweeping Habs.

First game tonight at 7:00pm. My plane lands at 6:00pm. I am grabbing a cab and heading straight to Foleys. Thats how you define dedication.

LETS GO PENS!

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Yinz Luv Da Guins, hairy ladies, and MAMA AND PAPA MALKIN

Monday, April 26th, 2010
Number of View: 874

First things first, here is the latest instalment of Yinz Luv Da Guins.

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Pens Win Using Sens Home Ice Disadvantage

Sunday, April 25th, 2010
Number of View: 245

Looks like Matt Cooke had plenty of oatmeal raisin cookies before the game last night.

I can’t comment for the whole game as i started watching from the 3rd period on. Pens were down 3-1. MouthFullOfTang mentioned that its probably the worst score to be winning by. The gap is big enough for the winning team to relax but at the same time gap is small enough for the losing team to start playing and scoring one goal gives huge momentum shift. It looked like momentum shift happened right after Poni put one top shelf but the goal was waived off because Geno was pushed into Leclaire. Bullshit call because we all know that Geno wouldn’t even hurt a fly.

In my opinion that was the pivotal point in the game … momentum shift … and after that well the game was mine!

Billy G followed by Cookie Monster … headed to OT. Good Pascal vs Evil Pascal and Sens headed to the Golf City. Pens win using Sens home ice disadvantage.

Dad was happy!

What is home ice disadvantage you ask me? Its a concept i came up with after pondering about how many teams use white out technique during playoff games. Lets think about this logically. You are playing on home ice typically using dark color jersey … your opponent is using white jersey. Now if your whole arena is white then your opponents white jersey will blend in with the background color. Your peripheral vision will not be able to easily pick out opponent players. Simple as that! So instead of the white out home arenas have to do black out if they truly want to help their team.

Tickets for the next two home games go on sale Monday at noon.

> If WASHINGTON and BUFFALO win their series:
Penguins play Buffalo Sabres (home-ice advantage – Buffalo).

> If WASHINGTON and BOSTON win their series:
Penguins play Boston Bruins (home-ice advantage – Pittsburgh).

> If MONTREAL and BUFFALO win their series:
Penguins play Philadelphia Flyers (home-ice advantage – Pittsburgh).

> If MONTREAL and BOSTON win their series:
Penguins play Montreal Canadiens (home-ice advantage – Pittsburgh).

LETS GO PENS!!!

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Yinz Luv Da Guins – 3 Reasons To Feel Good About Game On Saturday

Friday, April 23rd, 2010
Number of View: 211

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Plan Adjusted … Pens In 6

Friday, April 23rd, 2010
Number of View: 231

Recent studies have shown that many animals like to play with their prey before killing and eating them. Penguins are no exception to the rule. They have grown into birds of prey. As any other predator Penguins enjoy playing and toying around with their prey which is the case with Sens. There is just something exciting with giving your prey a sense of hope, even if its for a short lived moment, and then swiftly take it away. With this information at hand Pens have readjusted their plans to end the series in 6 games.

It would be silly to lay down any negatives from last nights game. All i saw was a solid game by Pens and a couple of lucky goals by Sens. If you are experiencing any sort of panic after last nights game you are simply a silly person. Pascal Leclaire will be lit up like a rich man’s Christmas tree with all the proper accessories. The only thing i am worried about Saturday’s game is that i won’t be able to see the game and miss the ohh-so-sweet hand shake ceremony. However, we all must make sacrifices for the greater good of the humanity.

In some related news … Sidney Crosby Still Sucks … hard! Quite frankly i am getting tired of seeing this guy, i mean he is like everywhere … literally.

Pittsburgh Penguins Playoff yard sign was raised in front of Foley’s pub. It was given a proper ceremony that included singing of national anthem. The crowd went wild and almost lost their minds. We dont blame them.

Go Run for the Mario Lemieux Foundation! A real marathon!

Thats all i have today because i am tired from watching what seemed to be endless hockey game.

LETS GO PENS!!!

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